History[edit | edit source]
Hank is known for being an extremely conservative Protestant. He is a vice principal and a health class teacher at a middle school. He is also known to love puzzles with a Christian theme. When he is first seen in the series, Robert was asking for Amy's hand in marriage. Hank turned him down because Robert was divorced, catholic, had premarital sex with Amy, and the fact that his family and the Barones don't get along. Despite his and Pat's protests, Amy does marry Robert. Hank usually gets along well with the Barones until something comes along to cause a fight (usually with Frank). Examples of this include when a bird flew into a window and Pat killed it. Frank thought they should have helped the bird, while Hank thought they should put the bird out of its misery. Another incident like this was when Pat was caught smoking and Hank learned he was the reason she smoked. He reveals that to deal with stress involving Pat, he blows up fireworks while on his "nature walks". Frank thought they were crazy and should be like him and Marie, letting it out on each other. His son Peter has lived with him and Pat for forty years, and while Peter was visiting Amy, Hank and Pat converted his room into a bible study chamber. This forced Peter to move out.
Memorable Quotes[edit | edit source]
- HANK: (after seeing Debra's parents covered in bed sheets) I don't care what the part is; I do not want to be in that musical.
- HANK: (to Robert) When any faculty member brings me a youngster whom they've caught smoking, you know what the first thing is that I ask them? "Why don't you just drink poison?" Well, Mr. Barone, let me ask you the same thing: Why don't you just drink poison?
- ROBERT: Do you have any?
- HANK: I like to blow up fireworks.
- PAT: What are you saying, Hank?
- HANK: That's right. Do you think you're so easy to live with all the time, Pat--so skittish and faint-hearted and--(imitates Pat) "Oh, my!" (normal voice) Last year, I caught a student with fireworks. They were still in my briefcase when I got home. You were on the couch, recuperating from your trip to the grocery store. I wanted to tell you to just get over it. Instead, I took the fireworks into the woods and I blew them up...and I liked it, so I got more. (Smiles broadly) I had to drive to West Virginia. But it feels good to be able to make some gosh-darn noise!